Eh.

I don't even know what the date is today.
Who cares.


Today, I am bored. Very, very, very bored. The kind of bored that compels someone to the internet.
Terrible, right?
And for some reason, at random, it feels like I'm living in someone else's body. What I really mean though is I feel like Alphonse Elric. For those of who who aren't familiar with who that is, he is a character from the Anime "Fullmetal Alchemist." In attempt of bringing back his dead mother, him and his bitchy short brother, Edward Elric, do something wrong in the process and end up damaging Al's body badly. His brother, Ed, has armor made to tie Al's body to. Basically like another body for him. The armor is hollow, but it contains a seal that attaches Al's soul to it, so it can't walk, talk, live etc. for Al. At some point Al gets scared that he really hasn't lived, and the memories he has are fake or someone else's. Which is basically how I feel, except I'm not armor. I feel like things aren't real. Or maybe everything is an illusion. Every time someone talks to me, I can't help but think they  aren't really there. They seem foggy and distant, made up even. It feels like they aren't talking to me, they're actually talking to someone else and I'm listening in. Part of me always wants to reach out my hand and touch them so I know they're really there. But, that would be weird so I don't. I look back at things I've done, people I've seen, experiences I've had and it doesn't feel like they've happened at any point in my life. They all seem like someone else's memories. Kind of like looking at someone else's scrapbooks. You would have no clue how they felt, what it was like or anything unless they told you, but with me, I don't even know how I feel about anything. I don't know why I don't feel alive. I don't know why I don't feel anything. I feel empty and scared to tell anyone. Nothing feels real. maybe it's because I'm happy? Sad? maybe confused? one of these emotions is taking control and I don't know what reality is. Now don't go thinking I'm on drugs, I'm just weird.

-Rhea