Well here's an introduction for ya. I'm a 15 year old girl, who's been through a lot of crap, well everyone has been through the second part. Some are open about it, some decide to be a senile turtle. Being a turtle isn't half bad, being one myself. Part of the reason I made this blog is an assignment to myself, to learn how to open up and tell people how I feel, how my day has been, who I saw, to be a person. I keep absolutely everything to myself for fear someone will use my secrets against me, or bend my life in the wrong direction until it snaps. And when I say turtle, I mean it metaphorically. As in, A turtle will be open and friendly if it's in familiar, comfortable surroundings, where it feels like it's safe and free to do whatever it wants. Then all of a sudden, someone has just a teensy bit of a threatening approach, the turtle will go back in his shell and sleep to avoid the situation. I feel like this quite often, when people force me to tell them what's wrong or what's bothering me if they keep pushing for me to tell them after i tell them i don't want to talk about it. Having that happen over and over and over again, I think it has put me in permanent defensive mode and my brain is practically saying "Screw everyone, you're meant to be alone." I want my brain to erase this message like an old voicemail, I want it to be as simple as pressing the delete button and knowing what I just rid of is not important, but no I have to deal with this with a different approach....hence, this blog. It will be my virtual diary. I'll tell you all my feelings, I'll tell you all what I'm thinking. People will know, I will tell them.
-Rhea :)
Hey Rhea,
ReplyDeleteGood job on this assignment to yourself. I hope it works for you. We all have to find things that help. As far as metaphors go, I think yours is good. We all have to learn to bend before we break. I for one think of skyscraper like you see down town. If they did not bend the regular stress of day to day wind would snap them to pieces. As it is they need regular maintenance to keep the windows is in place. That said with out doubt the wrong storm comes it will take the building down in a matter of moments. Thing is, even if that happens it only gives the opportunity to rebuild with knowledge of what to make better as you rebuild. Remodeling is an appropriate thing many times; rebuilding does from time need to happen though.